Another blow in the face/Remember Hebrews 12!!!

Well it’s 2 am Sunday night, and I think this time I’ll actually apply Hebrews 12 (endurance) when it comes to going to sleep.  But I didn’t follow that lesson today.  For the past few days God has really called me to Hebrews 12, which talks about endurance.  When I was doing the exercise on Friday I was ignoring it, and I don’t remember when else this week, [oh, yeah, it was making the ground turkey, which took me 1 and a half  hours] but I just kept coming back to that verse over and over again.

Today my dad was going to a funeral and he said somebody might be coming over on Monday (I don’t consider the day changing until the next day until after 6 am), and I knew I had so many things to do.  I have been really struggling with planning and cooking my meals so that the nutrition helps me lose weight and I spent all my energy doing that along with chores like cleaning the house, when the Word says, to “Seek first the Kingdom of God and His Righteousness and all will be added unto you.” [Matthew 6:33]  I realized that I was becoming a Martha (caught up with daily tasks) instead of a Mary (concerned about being around the people). [Luke 10:40]

I don’t know what time it was in the evening probably around 7pm and I felt so tensed, stressed out that I couldn’t physically move and I was lying down.  I didn’t know what to do.  I tried to pray, I couldn’t pray.  I just couldn’t fight any more and that’s when I forgot Hebrews 12.  So after a short pep talk with my pastor, I was like, “Oh, yah, duh, Hebrews 12 (Endurance/Discipline).  “You have not endured to the point of death like Jesus had.”  [v.1-4] “For the time being no discipline brings joy, but is grievous and painful. (but yields righteousness if endured)”. [v. 11]  My pastor said that the enemy knows our weaknesses, and if I try to give up and not fight or endure now, then what happens when things get really bad during the last days?  Will I be able to endure?  I also have the Holy Spirit inside me and that gives me strength.  That’s what I got from our short conversation.  I was also saying something about the atmosphere and I felt like there was something surrounding me that was making my tension worse, but that was just an excuse.

So I got up turned on the Christian Radio station that plays mostly hymns and I let it work through if that was the atmosphere.  Now I had some work on me to do.  I figured to start out small.  I  started by cleaning out a few sections of the bookshelf and making more space so at least I didn’t feel like my house looked hoarders.  I read parts of a book that had some useful tips on things I could include on my meal plans.  Also I got a brilliant idea, which came from God, that I should probably go and make my Turkey Burgers then, and make my Ground Turkey at the same time.

That was a stroke of genius that I have to thank God for.  So I did those things without too much stress, but my feet were tired.  I was happy that I was done, and I wouldn’t have to worry about that on Monday.  Then I could focus on more important things (by then I found out that no one was coming over) such as making a meal plan on Monday, getting a couple of things from the store on Monday and just taking more time to seek Him.

They sang my favorite worship song today “The More I Seek You.” at church.  Now it comes into perspective.  One thing that I am afraid of and worried about God forgive me, is the change of church to Saturday.  I know it has it’s shares of adjustments, which I am not going to go through now, but somehow I know it will work out.

I also learned that knowledge of the Word is not enough if it doesn’t not change your character.  It has to make you more consecrated and holy.  You should experience peace and joy through the day and you should be a pleasant person to be around and the light within your family and/or community.  I am asking God to help me calm down and experience the Living Word in my Life [In Jesus Mighty Name I pray]

After all I do have the Holy Spirit within me.  Shouldn’t I be reflecting it’s character?  Shouldn’t I be seeing fruits?  If not then I know there’s some things wrong that I need to change.  I know there are so many things I could be doing to be a better example of the presence of the Lord working in my life, but the Lord told me I need to take one day at a time because I have been trying to plan the whole world and it is just not within my capacity because I am simply human.  But it is the Holy Spirit who gives me the strength to go on and endure.  So I come humbly before Him to ask Him to make real to me, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”.  Philippians 4:12 In Jesus mighty name I pray, {Amen}

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