Archive | June 2011

Using Faith and God’s Word for Spiritual Warfare

Many of us struggle with diseases and we go to doctors.  The doctors give us medicine.  We spend time and money, and in the end we either can’t find an answer to what caused the problem, or we end up with a bunch of pills that give us so many side effects.  This has been a battle I have been fighting for quite a long time, but it wasn’t until I really got into God’s Word that I found out that the battle is the Lord’s and not ours and we just have to show up.

I want to share something that gave me a new revelation this time I read it.

Passage Mark 5:25-34:

25And a certain woman, which had an issue of blood twelve years,   26And had suffered many things of many physicians, and had spent all that she had, and was nothing bettered, but rather grew worse,    27When she had heard of Jesus, came in the press behind, and touched his garment.    28For she said, If I may touch but his clothes, I shall be whole.    29And straightway the fountain of her blood was dried up; and she felt in her body that she was healed of that plague.     30And Jesus, immediately knowing in himself that virtue had gone out of him, turned him about in the press, and said, Who touched my clothes?    31And his disciples said unto him, Thou seest the multitude thronging thee, and sayest thou, Who touched me?    32And he looked round about to see her that had done this thing.    33But the woman fearing and trembling, knowing what was done in her, came and fell down before him, and told him all the truth.    34And he said unto her, Daughter, thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace, and be whole of thy plague. (KJV)

In the Amplified it says for the verses emphasized:

26And who had endured much [a]suffering under [the hands of] many physicians and had spent all that she had, and was no better but instead grew worse.

34And He said to her, Daughter, your faith (your [e]trust and confidence in Me, springing from faith in God) has restored you to health. Go in [f](into) peace and be continually healed and freed from your [[g]distressing bodily] disease.

Sometimes we go through all these things like going to the doctors, taking medications with harmful side effects, and not realizing that our healing was already given to us over 2000 years ago, and that it is satan’s plan and purpose to steal from us our faith that we are already healed.  What I realized was that I too have suffered somewhat at the hands of physicians many times in my life and not trusting in God for my healing.

I found a very good link that has been helping me since I found it:

http://www.joycemeyer.org/content/articles/ea/healing_scriptures/HealingScriptures.pdf

There are a lot of verses in there and a lot of confessions in there for you to speak out loud to take claim over your healing and to have victory over satan.

Joyce Meyer has written a very good confession for us to speak out loud concerning our faith:

“Her faith made her whole, and my faith makes me whole.  I have faith, for I am a believer.  I believe I receive my healing, and my faith makes me whole.  I receive God’s power as mentioned in Ephesians 1:19.  The power that raised Christ from the dead is at work in me.  My faith puts that power into active operation in my body.  Disease has no choice.  There is no chance for its survival in my body.”

Passage Ephesians 1:19:
19And [so that you can know and understand] what is the immeasurable and unlimited and surpassing greatness of His power in and for us who believe, as demonstrated in the working of His mighty strength.

The devil is very smart and patient and he knows our weaknesses and what it will take for us to stop believing for our healing.  When you get closer to the Lord, don’t be surprised if you start to go through more trials and tribulations.  In fact I would venture to say that if you are not going through some kind of tribulation or trial, and life is so easy for you then maybe you need to examine if you are really walking with Christ.  Of course for a nonbeliever can go through trials and tribulations as well, and the enemy will use that himself  to draw you away from God.  The key is everywhere you look in the Bible it says “rejoice” along with suffering.

How do you rejoice when you are suffering?  The key is faith.  It is the faith to know that you will get through the battle and that it is only temporary or “for a season”.  How do you get faith – “Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God.”  Biblegateway has a link where you can listen to an audiobible to get to actually hear it.  There are even apps for that.  There are lots of youtube preachers and other people who have sermons you can listen to that go into God’s Word.  As I mentioned before Joyce Meyer is one of the ones I like, but she is just one of many.

We are fighters, and we are created to not just survive but to carry on to our children or to other generations the legacy we have in Christ.  The enemy knows that so he tries to steal that from us.  He is not against us, he is against God.  He wants us to separate from God by stealing our faith.  It only takes faith the size of a mustard seed to move mountains.

Mustard.png

Mustard seeds are very small.  On the IFGF Church link there is a sermon about the three types of faith mentioned in the Bible: small faith, little faith, and great faith.

It doesn’t matter what type of faith we have, but once it becomes a seed and dies (not saying faith dies, but it is a parable used by Jesus about seeds), it will become a tree.  It also has to be built on good soil , which is the foundation for our Christian walk.

Faith and God’s Word go hand in hand.  We can have all the faith, but if we have faith in the wrong things it is not going to lead us anywhere, or it may lead is in the direction opposite of where we want to go.  God’s Word – Jesus Himself – shown through logos and rhema becomes zoe or life.  Jesus came so that we should live and not die, but the enemy came to steal, kill, and destroy.

I want to mention something that I learned about Hindus.  They believed in the “god of death and destruction”.  If you think that God is responsible for death and destruction, then you obviously don’t know Jesus.  Again Jesus came so that you should live and not die.

In Genesis 3:5, satan played with Eve’s mind and said, “Surely, you will not die.  Eat it and you will become like God.”

5For God knows that in the day you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing the difference between good and evil and blessing and calamity.”

God had told them that they should not eat it or touch it – it was poison.  But satan tried to convince her that eating poison was good for you.  This still goes through today for those people who are trying to lose weight and there’s that chocolate cake sitting in front of them, or that slice of pizza.  We think it won’t hurt us, but when we eat it we gain the couple of extra pounds we didn’t want.

If God put a slice of pizza in the garden and said that Adam and Eve were not supposed to eat of it, don’t you think satan would have appealed to their senses and had the same effect?  He would have talked about the cheese, and the smell of the pizza.  He would have talked about how it is a good balance of carbs, vegetables, and protein.  Pizza is just an example, it could be anything that is a weakness.

So how do we fight satan?  Well one thing is the battle is in our minds.  It may start with the flesh, move to the heart, and then move to the mind, but often it goes the other way around.  So we have to be constantly renewing our minds with the Word of God so that we can constantly be growing and feeding ourselves with the truth.  We can learn to grow as warriors and to fight the battle set before us.  Everything that has been taught to you, and everything that has happened to you in your life has been done in order for you to prepare for this war.

So I encourage you if you’re feeling down and defeated, that you are not alone, and that this is a war, and we should rise up as eagles and with our rejoicing, praising, and faith we will find the victory.

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Many people getting sick – an attack?

Sorry I have not written much this week, but I got this bad case of the stomach flu.  I am better now.  I notice that there are a lot of people getting sick lately.  We were talking about this in prayer meeting – one of the pastors felt completely drained, one of the members lost his appetite.  One of my fellow bloggers, got sick, and then another fellow blogger got sick, and apparently all are doing well now.  What was it this past couple of weeks that let so many people get sick?  We said that satan is scared at church and as soon as we came home and over 20 June bugs/ little locust looking like bugs – outside of our house keeping us from going in and I just thought there is definitely some spiritual battles going on right now.

What is the best way to equip yourself for battle – be armored with the Word of God.  That’s pretty much what I have been learning from the Holy Spirit when it comes to spiritual warfare and during my time of involuntary fasting.  I spent my time seeking as much from God and his Word as possible and I got many revelations, some of which I might share later.

Waiting on God is really important too.  That’s one of the areas I struggle with the most.

Psalm 25:5
Guide me in Your truth and faithfulness and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation; for You [You only and altogether] do I wait [expectantly] all the day long.

Psalm 62:1

FOR GOD alone my soul waits in silence; from Him comes my salvation.

Most people don’t have enough time to sit there and wait in the day, but for myself I have a lot of time, but I find all other ways to seek God instead of just waiting in silence.  Mornings are hard for me because I am so distracted with all the things I have to get done in the day.  So I choose night time.  The past few days I have actually been hearing from God, but being too tired to take notes.

I also stopped vegging out on the couch and watching television.  Now I spend most of the time on the computer finding sources God’s Truth from other resources.  Whereas before I would spend maybe a few hours of day hunting and gathering for spiritual food, now I spend at least 6 hours a day meditating on God’s Word by studying it, searching it, meditating only things that are noble, and praise worthy.  I used to be so obsessed with losing weight and I think I even wrote on here that I wanted to be free of not having to worry about counting calories, losing weight, and what to eat.  Then I had the attack, which was a blessing in disguise because it gave me the time to focus more on God and not on the things of this world.  I have gotten to a place where I like the way my body looks.  I happy just to be able to eat at all.

God is teaching me about faith because I went through a time period where all I saw was wickedness in myself and in God’s Word pointing to wickedness and I realized that was an accusation.  I know I am supposed to pursue holiness, but I also realize now that it is not going to happen overnight.  I started to listen to preachers who to talk plain sense meanings to the Bible and how to actually apply it in your life hoping that it will make a difference.

I need to go through my mind and unlearn all these things strongholds I have had since before I was a Christian and all these negative self-image issues.  The best way I can do that is by helping others.  In fact my sickness went away when I visited a friend of mine who has not been able to come to church because he cannot walk.

I was so blessed just to see him.  After I came home my sickness went away.

I also found out that laughter is a good medicine.  In Proverbs it says that laughter does your heart merry like a good medicine.  I heard a story of a woman I think she was on Oprah, who was diagnosed by the doctor as having cancer and he started talking about chemo, and before he started talking she left and she went to Blockbuster and started renting all these comedies.  She would laugh when she was watching these comedies.  Three months later she went back to the doctor and he said she had no more cancer.   I was then motivated to find things that would encourage my faith and to make me laugh.

I hope this has been a blessing to you.  Sorry so short.

Defeating the Dragon

I am going to write about an experience I’ll never forget.  I used to play video games- particularly only one that I took a real interest to in Middle School and that was Super Mario Brothers.  I don’t condone the use of playing video games because most of them are addictive and can lead to violence and aggression, but I believe that through my experience of playing this game I learned a lot of things about the Lord, and He sowed a seed and it was a type and shadow of things to come in my own life.

The purpose of Super Mario Brothers is to go through a series of levels until you defeat the dragon and rescue the princess.  There are several dragons, and enemies you have to fight.  They can be kind of hard to fight and if you are not careful you can lose your life in trying to fight them.  There is a thing where you hit your head against this box and a star comes out.  The star gives you power to be able to surpass, destroy, and escape from any enemy that you come in contact with and essentially giving you “super powers”, but that only lasts for a given time period.  There are other tricks that you can use to defeat the enemy.  Then in the last level – number 8, you come across the king of all dragons.

The experience I had was that I was consistently playing the video games and guess what I was listening to when I won?  “Make It Happen” by Mariah Carey:

[Excerpt]

"And if you get down on your
knees at night
And pray to the Lord
He's gonna make it happen"

It also talks about believing in yourself as well, but what I got from it was that the Lord was going to make it happen.  Now I wasn’t Christian at the time, but I kept on listening to that song over and over again while I was playing the video game.  I listened to other secular songs too, but I didn’t defeat the dragon until I heard this song.

I also thought it said, but maybe I’m wrong – “If you believe in the Lord, with all your might and all your soul, He’s gonna make it happen.  Make it Happen.”

What was the purpose of the Lord letting me listen to this song and play this video game?  It was to show that by trusting the Lord, He can make anything happen, and if I believe in Him and in myself that I can conquer the demons and dragons in my life.

It is very interesting the symbolical meaning of Super Mario Brothers.  As I look back now, the Star power reminds me of the Holy Spirit, which can defeat all the attacks of the enemy if you find it and if you know where it is.  There’s also fire power and mushrooms that remind me of the two edged sword, of the Word of God.  At first when you are a baby Christian, you need mushrooms to make your self bigger so that when enemies attack you will not get destroyed, but you will grow bigger.  Then there is the fire power, which allows you to throw fiery darts at your enemies, which reminds me of using the Word mixed with the Holy Spirit to utilize your fire power.  Are you aware that you have fire power?

There are a lot of obstacles and enemies in Super Mario Brothers, and it takes special skills and persistance to learn how to fight them.  In fact if I remember correctly, the first thing you have to do is either fight an enemy or climb up an obstacle.  This is good teaching ground for a Christian, the first thing you have to do learn how to do as a Christian is how to resist the attacks of the enemy, but so many of us are unprepared because we don’t know what God’s Word says.  We just are learning, and we don’t know enough to take it to practice.  It takes some special movements to go and get to places and after a while your thumbs begin to hurt.   You also can’t do it in a few minutes or even an hour.  It takes hours and commitment of time and energy to defeat the dragon.  I am sure that there is a lot more God can reveal to me about Super Mario Brothers, but I am glad He has allowed me to use what I have learned and apply it in my own life.

Are there dragons in real life or in the Bible?  Yes there are in real life and in the Bible.  In real life, I’m sure you can think of the many problems you are going through, but did you know that you have Star Power and Fire Power if you go and seek God and know His ways?

 

In Revelation [and in Daniel (prophet Daniel), John mentions the dragon –

  1. Revelation 12:3 (Whole Chapter)
    Then another ominous sign (wonder) was seen in heaven: Behold, a huge, fiery-reddragon, with seven heads and ten horns, and seven kingly crowns (diadems) upon his heads. [Dan 7:7 ]
  2. Revelation 12:4 (Whole Chapter)
    His tail swept [across the sky] and dragged down a third of the stars and flung them to the earth. And the dragon stationed himself in front of the woman who was about to be delivered, so that he might devour her child as soon as she brought it forth. [Dan 8:10 ]

Sounds like a theme of a video game doesn’t it?  But it is not one, and the dragon in Super Mario Brothers, is a lot easier to defeat than this dragon.  That’s why the Lord has to come down and defeat this dragon himself, in the most amazing battle that can be a far more thrilling than any video game.  In a world of fiction, you can learn things and you can experience things, but when you take hold of what is real, and that is the Truth of God it can be a lot more effective, powerful, and awesome than anything you can experience in a video game.

WordPress the many implications

I was just thinking about this yesterday…isn’t interesting that God uses things like WordPress to spread out His Word.

In the book of John it talks about the Word of God –

1IN THE beginning [before all time] was the Word ([a]Christ), and the Word was with God, and the Word was God [b]Himself.(A)

[Amplified]

There is two types of Word when that we get when we associate with the Lord.  We have the logos word, which is the Scriptures and there is the rhema word, which is the Word that God reveals to us.  Well, I believe that it is no coincidence that the Lord has me using WordPress to blog.

But there is the other part of the term, “WORDPRESS”, that is the word “Press”.  I looked at the definitions of the word, “Press” and it’ many definitions.

Press definitions –

“Squeeze (someone’s arm or hand) as a sign of affection” –

I definitely believe that WordPress can be used to show signs of affection to other members of the Body of Christ by building them up and edifying them.

“Move in a specified direction by pushing”- this definition was used in reference to the phrase “pressing forward” – so we can definitely use WordPress to encourage others to Press forward.

“(of an enemy or opponent) Attack persistently and fiercely” – this one I like – we can definitely attack satan persistantly and fiercely by using tools like WordPress to preach the gospel.

“Continue in one’s action”- This was used in the term to “press on” as related to work.  But whatever actions we are doing for God that show the fruit of the Holy Spirit and that help us grow, we can “press on” in those matters

Extract (juice or oil) by crushing or squeezing fruit, vegetables, etc.  – This has very interesting implications – the extraction of oil (Anointing Oil/Oil in Lampstand/The Holy Spirit).  We can use WordPress to express our anointing through writing and therefore extracting the Oil out of us.

 

“Insist that (someone) accept an offer or gift”- I think I used this once to insist that someone accept the Lord as the Savior.  “Insist” if I’m not mistaken can also mean to urge.

Then finally, I found it’s original purpose in using the term – “A printing press”.

 

Biblical implications:

Paul uses the word “press” in a positive light –

Phillipians 3:12;14

12Not that I have now attained [this ideal], or have already been made perfect, but I press on to lay hold of (grasp) and make my own, that for which Christ Jesus (the Messiah) has laid hold of me and made me His own.

14I press on toward the goal to win the [supreme and heavenly] prize to which God in Christ Jesus is calling us upward.

The rest of the Bible uses press in terms of pressure and as a hard difficult and crushing experience. When a piece of sand goes through pressure inside an oyster it turns into a pearl.

Also they talk about the juice press in the Old Testament.  I think in Hebrew and Greek they must have used other meanings, but it translated to another word in English.  But isn’t fascinating that the Author and Creator of the world and all it’s languages can show us such hidden depth to even the words we use and speak?

FYI:  I don’t consider it a coincidence that I got more responses by using WordPress than by using any other blogging tool I subscribe to.

I hope this was a blessing to you and I encourage you to “Press on” with your WordPress!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Singing in the Valley

I haven’t posted in a while because I have been going through some things.  Some of which may be called a “valley” in my life.  It wasn’t until I heard Joyce Meyer mentioned “singing in the valley” that God revealed to me what to write about.  People go through things in life.  They go through things – ups and downs – physical sicknesses (even though Jesus has already paid the price for them), financial troubles, and just any kind of thing you can think of that the enemy tries to throw at you.  It’s through this time that we must learn to trust and praise God through the valley.  I admit I have been neglecting my “singing” and that’s just the strategy the enemy is trying to use.  He doesn’t want you to praise God in your troubles.  He wants to steal your praise.  He wants to steal your joy too and he wants to steal your praise if that succeeds.  The more he succeeds the more he will try until he’s got you so wrapped around your own suffering and throwing yourself a pity party consumed with grief, that you can’t open your mouth to praise Him [Jesus].

1) Praise is a an act of faith – Praise is one of the many ways that you can express your faith.  It’s easy to sit in church and listen to worship music, sing and dance, and praise.  But when you haven’t been able to keep down anything you’ve eaten or even when you try to pray and fight you are crying so much that you can’t fight anymore or when you are so deep in debt that it would be better for you to go into slavery then to pay off your debt, that’s when it is hard to praise God.  You try so many things to be a “good Christian”, but then you realize that your faith has been stolen so that’s when you must praise.

2) Praise is an attitude – It’s not just about “singing” – It’s a lifestyle choice.  Imagine if you were around a person that had one bad thing after another happen to them and you never saw the smile leave their face.  They smiled when good things were happening and they smiled when bad things were happening, and it wasn’t just their smiling, but it was their whole attitude that was kind, nice, caring, loving, and nurturing, but still human at the same time.  You would think what kind of character does this person have that makes them never complain or murmur or enter into self-pity like that?  I’m not saying that such a person exists , except for maybe David in the Bible or even Joel Osteen (I know some Christians don’t like him and some love him), but wouldn’t it be a great attitude to have where you are constantly praising God for all that has happened-  to know that whatever you’re going through you’re going to get out of it.

3) Praise can deliver you – When Paul was praising in prison there was an earthquake and then all the prison gates opened and they were let out [ACTS 16:25] – Even in your darkest bondage if you lift your hearts to praise Him, then you can be set free.  Whatever you’re going through God can deliver you out of the darkest bondage.  He can create miracles through praise to get out of that bondage.

 

4) Praise when others around you are not praising – You’re fellow co-worker might be talking bad about the boss or about the work situation you can praise God that you have a job.  When your sister is having a bad day and she snaps at you you can praise God that you have a family that loves you and that you are not an orphan.  It’s so easy to praise when everyone around you is cheerful and happy all the time, but how often does that happen?

5) Praise while serving –  Whether you’re washing the dishes, taking out the trash, cooking, or whatever it is that you do to serve you can lift your hearts with praise.  I must admit that this is the hardest thing for me to do.  God does not call you to serve grudgingly or as an obligation, but with a heart of praise.  Often I find myself so agitated I tend to snap at someone or get really stressed out when doing these things, and it’s only afterward that I realize that I should do it with a heart of praise.  So what I do is turn on the Christian radio station and fill my heart with peace and praise so that I can serve with a heart full of praise.  This one is hard for my family members as well.  I think praise while serving changes the whole attitude about serving and can create peace in the atmosphere.

6) Praise God during all the little things – Whether you’re trying to find a piece of food in the way back part of the fridge so that you have to go and take everything out and put everything back in to find it.  Or you’re trying to put the carton of apple juice back in the fridge while there’s no more room left in the fridge.  Or even if it’s making it through the light without getting into an accident.  It doesn’t matter what little things that you do or that happen to you, you can praise God in spite of them or even through them because then you’ll end up being able to praise God through all the big things that happen in your life – like the bondages or things you need to be delivered from.

7) Praise changes your perspective  – You may be looking at your situation from only your viewpoint and not seeing God’s viewpoint, and when you praise the whole situation gets turned around.  Perspective in art and geography can mean two dimensional or three dimensional.  When you put on 3D glasses to watch a movie you feel the realness of it.  You don’t feel like it’s a flat screen and that you can’t really be a part of it.  With 3D it makes the picture pop out for you and it can make it really exciting and personal.  God is multidimensional so when you praise God even when you are going through a valley you can see that there is a mountain at the top and God can move that mountain and make your pathways straight so that you are not in a valley but then you are in a level playing field.

 

One of the songs about Praise I like is “God is good all the time.” :

“Chorus:
God is good all the time
He put a song of praise in this heart of mine
God is good all the time
Through the darkest night, His light will shine
God is good, God is good all the time
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/d/don_moen/god_is_good_all_the_time.html ]
If you’re walking through the valley
And there are shadows all around
Do not fear, He will guide you
He will keep you safe and sound
‘Cause He’s promised to never leave you
Nor forsake you and His Word is true

Chorus

We were sinners – so unworthy
Still for us He chose to die
Filled us with His Holy Spirit
Now we can stand and testify
That His love is everlasting
And His mercies – they will never end

Chorus

Lord I may not understand
All the plans He left for me
My life is in your hands
And through the eyes of Him I can clearly see

Chorus”

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/d/don_moen/#share

 

I may not be perfect and I may struggle as we all do, but I know that I have a God who is worthy of praise so through this valley if I go and praise Him then He can move this mountain in my life.

 

 

Why am I in grief and pained with these emotions?

I have been struggling a lot with some hurtful things that people said and the fact that some loved ones are pulling further away from God.  I am not going to go in talk about what happened, but when I was looking back at the way I have been feeling lately – so sad and grieved and in a depth of emotional pain I found something again in the Bible when I was not even looking for this verse…

Hebrews 12:11 “For the time being no discipline brings joy, but seems grievous and painful; but afterwards it yields a peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it [a harvest of fruit which consists in righteousness–in conformity to God’s will in purpose, thought, and action, resulting in right living and right standing with God]. “

It’s actually pretty funny that God brought this verse to me at a time when I didn’t understand what was going on and why I was feeling this way.  At first in previous posts I talked about the physical discipline, but there is also an emotional discipline that comes into focus.  God can bring us into a time of pain and grief, and you don’t understand why and what is happening to you.  This pain was totally unrelated to the bipolar disorder, but it had more to do with my own relationship with God and areas I needed to work on.  So I have been really sad and even at times wanting to turn away from God because the deeper I got the more pain I felt.  Now I realized that God has been disciplining me- not punishing me, but He has been making me His disciple through letting me walk through the walls of forgiveness and learning to reach out to Him.  I went to the Word today seeking Him and seeing if there could be just one verse that could just reach out and speak out to me that would be enough.  It was almost like if I could reach out and touch the hem of His garment then I would be healed.  I would experience the joy that I so needed.  I would be able to get out of these lies that satan has been feeding me and stop tormenting myself because I know the Truth lies in His Word.  But I had to be very careful because even satan can use God’s Word to twist it and make you feel bad about yourself.  I felt so wicked and so not close to God, but the Truth was that He was making me a true disciple by letting me go through this grief and pain so that I can learn how to be close to Him.  It is the only way.  God uses our pain and the deepness of our emotions to burn out anything that is not of Him so we can be pure like gold.

I realize that God is my potter and I am the clay.  With each circumstance, with each season, with each molding He is drawing us close to Him, and when we don’t see that we can be stuck in either a pity party or we may not have an understanding of why things are going on.  The Truth is that God really loves us and He wants to see us grow, and He doesn’t want to hurt us like I mentioned before.  It may seem like I am expressing the same things over and over again through my posts, but it is a lesson that I am trying to learn this time in my life.

I don’t know about you, but I can be a very hard learner when it comes to the things of God.  God may have to show me things a million times over to see that this is what He meant.  I can be doing very good, enjoying life, making progress, and then all of a sudden I realize that I haven’t been doing what God wanted me to do.  Instead of going through a cycle of repenting and asking for forgiveness and trying to be better next time, I go into this cycle of really beating myself up about it, and condemning myself because I push myself away from God and closer to the lies of satan.  This is what my therapist calls self-sabotage, but it isn’t my plan or purpose to do that, it isn’t even God’s plan or purpose to do that, but it is satan’s purpose to do that with all the distractions, and poisonous darts that he puts in your way that causes you to detract from the good that you are doing.  It causes you to really know God and realize eventually, that “Aha!” this is what He is doing.  It also takes a little bit of knowing who you are and exactly how you will react to a situation.  It also takes a little bit of knowing who exactly satan is in this world and what his strategies are.

What I can’t emphasize enough is that God uses every pain or bad situation and turns it around for good.  It is so we will have fruit and bear character that would bring fruit into our lives.  Some people are mistaken in thinking that when we receive the Holy Spirit and become a Christian or become converted then all of a sudden “BAM!” everything turns around and just falls into place.  Well, I”m sorry that’s just not the way life works.  We have to go through a lot of struggles in life and whether we are Christian and Holy Spirit filled or not we are still going to have problems and pain.  We are not going to be happy and joyful a 100% of the time.  We are not going to be free of making mistakes and having failures because life is all about that.  Life is all about making mistakes and learning through them and finding God through this process.  Some people will start to have a peace that they have not experienced before and some people will be free of addicitions, but we have to remember that this is all a process, and you can only focus on one day at a time.

Sometimes Christians who are heavily in the Word of God and spending all their time studying the Bible don’t take the time to enjoy the simple things in life.  God wanted us to enjoy the simple things in life and that’s why He spoke in Parables and stories so that simple people could take away the Truth in a form in which was applicable in life.  God can speak to you in so many ways and in so many situations.  He doesn’t have to use just the Bible or His Word to speak to us because that is just one manifestation of the Living Word of God.  He is multifacted.  God can speak to us using the beautiful things in creation.  God can speak to us while we are doing things we enjoy like our hobbies.  Some people have pets and God can speak through pets and children.

What we have to do is to find a way in which we can experience God’s love and still experience life – after all He wants us to have “life and have life more abundantly” and the only way to do that is to live your life.  If you become obsessed with God and you don’t have the right focus it can be a detriment to you without you even realizing it because if your thoughts and life are not planted on good soil they will not be nourished and produce good fruit.  So you can be super obsessed with God and the Bible, but you are not producing fruit in your life by taking the time and living out your life and fulfilling the destiny God has in purpose for you.

I believe in Heaven it is just going to be like one big party all the time.  But Heaven is not just one place in the sky that you can only see after you die.  God’s purpose is to see His Kingdom and Heaven here on earth and the one way we do that is by letting Heaven live in our hearts.

It is important to set goals and reach out to achieve those goals.   It is important to take out the time to go and “smell the roses”.  It is important to have just some “me” time when you can be by yourself and just take in the things in and let all the tensions and stresses of life go.  If you can’t go out and give someone a hug today – then find something to enjoy.  I guess my problem is that I have been so focused on my problems that I didn’t take out any time for myself and focus on the little things in life.  God is bigger than my problem.

Learning that God loves you despite what you weigh

You know the post I posted last time where I was talking about talking to my “friend” that was bipolar?  Well that was actually me.  I wanted to have a little more anonymity before revealing that about myself.  Because of having bipolar disorder I have had also had to experience the downfalls of being on medication that makes me gain weight.

I think I was normal weight in Elementary school, but I had to deal with people calling me ugly, and they are even now some of my facebook friends.  I have forgiven them all, but those seeds had their way in shaping my mind.  I was a little bit more developed than other girls my age when I was in 5th grade, but I wasn’t overweight.  I had some self-image and self-esteem issues.  I also did not know how much Jesus was rejected for me and that He loves me and that He died for me.

Then in Middle School I started thinking I was fat because I couldn’t find clothes that fit me in the store, and I wasn’t as physically fit as the other girls in my school.  I couldn’t do as many crunches; I couldn’t run as fast or as long, (probably because of my flat feet), and I couldn’t play the sports as well as everybody else.  It was about that time that I started becoming a vegetarian, even though I am not one anymore.  I never knew how to eat healthy, and I didn’t like my family’s cooking.  I wanted to eat American.  So while I was in 7th grade I ate an apple everyday for lunch and that’s it and I would be able to fit into those size 10 jeans.  Size 10 was super small for me, and I was pretty thin at that size.  In 8th grade I was still pretty thin, but because my stomach was not super flat and because I had a little bit of a pouch of a stomach I still thought I was fat.

In high school, I had to deal with so many physical issues including two bouts of Gastroentiritis, and bipolar disorder that I wasn’t primarily concerned with my weight.  I had so many things going on, and I always HATED P.E. It felt like torture.  I was probably a little overweight, but I was way out of my league compared to everyone else.  While I was in my last year of high school I started to put on weight (balloned up to 185) and I didn’t even realize why- my bipolar med.  I joined Jenny Craig and lost like 25 pounds.  Then I lost like 35 more doing the treadmill until I went down to 125 and was able to fit into my size 10 Jeans. Then I went manic like crazy.  Long story.

It wasn’t until after 1999 that my weight started to come back again.  My face became rounder.  It happened all of a sudden.  It was about the time that I started an atypical antipsychotic.  That medicine gave me Diabetes within two years.  I am not exactly sure how much I weighed in 2001 [my salvation year], but at that time I started to eat meat because I found out that because I couldn’t eat as many carbs, and because of the thyroid condition I had I was very limited on what I could eat so I chose to start eating meat.  For a long time I was denial about diabetes and addicted to carbs and sweet food.  But I think part of the problem was that I was on a Dopamine and Serotonin uptake inhibitor so my brain wasn’t sending my the right signals telling me I was full.  The other part was me.  I was trying to fill a void that I could only fill with a relationship to Jesus, but since I wasn’t part of a church I wasn’t getting the spiritual food I needed so I turned to physical food.  I was part of a sorority and Bible Studies that had some love and truth, but I hadn’t sunken into the meat of the gospel and started going to the Word myself.  But that turning to food for comfort and seeking after love from my earthly father started a vicious cycle of trying to lose weight and gaining weight and back and forth to this day.  In the middle of it all I had a coma.  No one really knows why. I suspect it was the chastening of the Lord. It just happened and resulted in my kidneys shutting down and a treatment of dialysis while I was unconscious.  It was after that I had to learn the hard way to get closer to God and to change the way I thought about food.

Before I get into my whole life story here – I want to mention that it has been really hard for me lately while I have been going up and down in my weight – I eat healthy 90% of the time, but when I don’t have time to plan, or when I am bored and because I don’t really sit and have meals with my mom, dad, and sister, I end up getting into vicious cycles of eating too much food because I am trying to fill a void and trying to submit to the flesh and instead of to the Spirit.  But it is a hard battle the people that are obese have to go through.  For me the hardest thing is when I get over 200 pounds I start having problems walking.  Being able to know the difference between actually eating for hunger, and eating for something else, takes a lot of wisdom.  At times I feel like I am fighting very hard and not seeing results so then I have to have faith to see beyond my circumstances, and because James says, “Faith without works is dead,” I have to go through the effort of planning my meals, and going to the gym, and doing cardio at home to get the desired results.  All the time I want to forget about all this.  I want to not have to think about it anymore.  I want to not have to think that I have to take bipolar meds, and that I don’t look like the way I look when I am at a certain weight and that I have a hard time walking if I get beyond a certain also associated with other health risks.  I am really trying just to make it to 195.  Every time I try to lose weight and commit to something it falls short and  I pray about it.  Maybe I don’t spend enough time in prayer, but most of my day is spent cooking, eating, and vegging out in front of the tv and eating.  I can’t play any sports or have no coordination to dance.  Those are the days that I really feel down like today and I sometimes think about the verse – Luke 12:24

“24Observe and consider the ravens; for they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn; and [yet] God feeds them. Of how much more worth are you than the birds!

It also talks about not to worry about anything in that passage.  So here I am fretting about how much I want to lose weight and what I am going to eat that God says not to worry!  So then that makes me want to give up on my meal planning and calorie counting and just keep my eyes on Jesus like Peter did.  Oh, how I desire to be able to not to live in a body where I had to struggle like this.  So then I ask God sometimes, “Why?”  And here’s what He says, “I created you this way so that you would come running to me with your problems and seek after me.”  I also read that in a book somewhere.  I know that I am a glutton and unworthy of His love and what He did for me, but I am so glad that He accepts me flaws and failures and wants to put His circling arms around me.  With this I know that God loves me despite what I weigh and because of that I can love myself.